


Mechanics Of The Heart

by Lilly_C



Category: Taggart (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Infertility, Male-Female Friendship, Missing Scene, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 12:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly_C/pseuds/Lilly_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can feel this fear getting stronger</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mechanics Of The Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler for Genesis. Missing scene for the night Jackie is researching the ICSI procedure. More notes at the end. Any mistakes are my own and unintentional.
> 
> Also posted to [a little improbable](http://alittleimprobable.dreamwidth.org/46937.html) on Dreamwidth.

Robbie instantly regretted his choice of words as Jackie became distant, closing herself off from him. Putting the shutters down as Stuart and the boss often put it when cases were tougher on her than they were on the men. She closed the lid of her laptop, picked up her tea and retreated upstairs. 

After waiting for a few minutes, he looked at her laptop seeing the last search she ran for sperm donor clinics, he closed the lid again, and went upstairs to check on her. “Jackie, you okay?” he called through the partially opened bedroom door.

“Leave me alone!” she pleaded, her voice heavy from crying. He ignored her plea and closed the door, taking up space on the bed he waited for her release the vice-like grip on the pillow, and allow the comfort he was silently offering. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“No you shouldn’t but I do understand why you said it.” Jackie moved, resting her head on his chest. “This case is making things hard and I wish it wasn’t.”

Robbie softly sighed. “The case is making things hard on all of us Jack, but you’re taking it harder than we are, why?”

Jackie scooted closer to him, finding the comfort she didn’t realise she needed. “It’s too personal Robbie, I can’t tell you.”

“Define too personal,” he said tenderly rubbing her back.

“My body hates me,” she said as her tears resumed falling. “I can’t have children.”

Robbie was so stunned by the admission that he took a moment before he spoke again. “Is that why you were googling sperm donor clinics earlier?”

“You looked at my laptop,” she stated.

“I had to, you walked out without saying a word. What causes it?”

Jackie repositioned herself, draping an arm across his middle. “What, infertility?”

“Yeah.”

“Lots of things cause infertility Rob, but for me it is caused by ovarian cysts, I had to have some removed when I was younger because the period pain was excruciating and it was too low down for it to be cramps, it was also the heaviest period I had ever had.”

“Isn’t there that syndrome thing?”

“There is but I don’t have that, PCOS also effects hormones, weight loss and weight gain, the way hair grows, and for hair to grow anywhere on the body and it can make getting pregnant difficult, there are people with the condition who can get pregnant.”

Robbie carefully considered his next question. “Did you and Brian ever try, for a baby I mean.”

“We did and it never happened. There were a couple of times when we thought it had but I was just late. For a while we went to see a fertility specialist and even with the treatments it didn’t work.”

“Did the specialist ever tell you to have sex?”

“Yeah, the advice was to have sex every day and let nature take its course and at first it was good but after a while i think we both got bored, not of each other but of having sex and nothing happening.” Jackie glanced up at him. “you’ve got that look Rob, the one that says I know something you don’t, tell me.”

Robbie swallowed a breath before speaking. “Do you still want to have a baby?”

“Of course I do but it won’t happen and I can live with that.”

“I’m going to make you an offer,” Robbie started, unsure of how he should continue. “I’ll do it, I’ll be the sperm donor for you then that way the father isn’t a total stranger.”

Jackie sat up, placing her upper body weight on her arm. “You’re serious?” she asked, needing clarity.

Robbie quickly matched her position. “Yes darling I’m serious. I saw the search results and I knew that I couldn’t let you go through it alone. What if you did get pregnant and when the child is old enough they ask you who their dad is, you wouldn’t be able to answer them. At least you know me and all I ask is that I get to know the child.”

Jackie was surprised by Robbie’s offer. “You do know that IVF treatment is expensive. Last time I tried it, it cost £7000 and that was only for one cycle of treatment, overall I spent close to £65,000 before I stopped having the treatment.”

“It’s not the cost that’s the problem is it Jack?”

Jackie shook her head, he knew her too well. “No it’s not, it’s us, and I mean we’re best mates and sometimes we sleep together but we don’t have sex. Isn’t this offer of yours just going to complicate things for us?”

Robbie lay down again, gently pulling Jackie with him, holding her close. “It won’t complicate anything, I’ll provide the sperm and let the doctors do the rest. As for the sex, we can cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“So you’ll provide the sperm but I’ll be going through it all alone.”

“What? No, I’ll go with you to all the appointments. I’ll be by your side through it all, I could never leave you to face something like this alone.”

“I read somewhere that sometimes couples who have fertility problems can conceive naturally by having lots of sex but I can’t do that to you because I’d feel like I was using you.”

Robbie frowned at her. “Jackie, you wouldn’t be using me, think about it this way: you want a baby and I’m providing the sperm so maybe we should just try anyway and see what happens.”

Jackie nodded. “Sorry, my head is all over the place just now.”

“That’s perfectly understandable. Do you want me to go?”

“Stay, I’d rather not be alone tonight.”

Robbie laughed as Jackie yawned loudly. “Get your pyjamas on, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Where are you going rob?”

“To get my vest and shorts, they’re downstairs, I can’t sleep in my work clothes.”

Jackie waited a moment for his footsteps to fade into the background before she opened her diary to double check the dates she marked with a blue * “maybe this time,” she said to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be revisiting the infertility theme in greater detail in another R/J fic that is currently a WIP and very much in the early planning and research stages. I still need to rewatch and make notes from at least five episodes, including Genesis as the timeline is both before and after that episode as well as going over all the research I already have saved.


End file.
